What Ginny & Georgia's Maxine Baker Teaches Us About The Friend Who Feels Too Much | Why The Parentified Daughter Can't Be Casual About Girl Friendship

I thought you thought of me better...

Addy, Max, Nora, and Ginny from Netflix’s Ginny & Georgia

Did you miss me kittens?

I missed you... But a weekend in bed crying over the latest season of Georgia & Ginny and yapping to netizens about how deeply patriarchal the criticisms of Sydney Sweeney’s soap campaign are were just what the doctor ordered to clear up this head cold that *thankfully* was not another round of COVID.

Given that I binged myself on pop culture during my weekend of bed rotting, today we’re gonna dissect a television delight that’s sure to be a trigger for all the “mommy issues” girlies out there… Ginny & Georgia season 3. Much like our mini review of Sirens, this will be an analysis of a specific character and story plot rather than a full season review & analysis. But still be mindful of potential spoilers. If you dig it, be sure to subscribe! With exception to special pieces, my daily dishes are free to read during my 30 day writing challenge.

Also if you like my television and media pieces, let me know in the comments! You’re still going to get emo girl philosophical essays - but I’m happy to share more media takes if that feels fun. See my take on Handmaid’s Tale fans and Devon from Siren for more.

Ginny & Georgia is one of those ensemble shows that does a great job of presenting complex characters with complex relationships to one another - reminiscent of Degrassi: Next Generation. So it’s hard to know where to begin - The narcissistic serial killer mom who’s teaching (if not forcing) her parentified daughter to walk in her footsteps just to survive the psychological trauma that is her mother… the 9 year old boy being exposed to emotionally complex traumas such as executing violence against his father with little to no guidance on how to process those feelings??

I have lots of feelings about every character in this show, but today I want to talk about Maxine Baker.

I’ll be honest. I didn’t like Max when we first met her in Season 1. As someone who grew up with an emotionally overbearing parent, I kind of despise being in close proximity to people who force you to live in their emotional worlds at all times. And to that extent, I deeply sympathized with Addy (one of Max’s best friends) when she said she struggles to share things she’s still processing with Max because Max will make Addy’s thing about Max. It’s really hard to be close to people who don’t give you room to feel and make choices for yourself before projecting their own narrative on to you. I get it.

MANG | Max, Addy, Nora, and Ginny (left to right)

But… my problem with the way that Addy and the gang (ANG - Addy, Nora, and Ginny) go about managing their friendship with Max is that they don’t even try to set boundaries, they just cut Max out of group gatherings & conversations and then diminish her feelings about it. Or at least we don’t see any boundary setting attempts on screen. I do wish the writer’s would have made it clear whether they didn’t try or they were done trying. I totally get what it feels like to constantly try to assert to a “big feelings” person that they’re taking up space in a way that feels suffocating only to be ignored. So for now, let’s just assume they failed to communicate. But that’s also tricky… Because the fear of even trying to tell a “big feelings” person how you fee; is so real too when every past experience has taught you that you won’t be heard.

ANG without Max =(

But in defense of my girl… In the case of Maxine Baker, I believe this is a response to having to hide her emotions from her family. This season we’re shown several flashbacks of baby Maxine being told that it’s her job to take care of her twin brother Marcus. While in the present, every time Maxine tries to express to her mother that she’s in emotional distress (rare for a teenage girl), her mother cuts her off with some configuration of “My sweet happy, perfect girl, I’m so glad we never have to worry about you! Especially since Marcus is such a burden!” She doesn’t say it in those exact words, but this is the general vibe of her message.

Mr. Baker, Marcus Baker, Max Baker, Mrs. Ellen Baker

It’s cleverly disguised as a compliment but don’t be fooled! This is a form of emotional manipulation and offloading problems onto a child. We see this a lot from Georgia, but Ellen Baker does this just as frequently. In fact, I’m glad the show uses them as parallels using these two (Georgia and Ellen) to display the many ways this behavior can rear its head. God… this just gave me a crushing flashback of my father telling me I’m his favorite kid because I never need anything - just for me to be the only kid hospitalized 3x for self harm… It’s a cruel thing to do to a kid, to communicate that your love is a product of their ability to take care of themselves and potentially others.

But as a culture, we do it all the time. In fact Marcus and Maxine Baker represent a perfect illustration of a gender based social construct that we see in America all the time. Girls are abandoned in the form of being trained to be responsible for not only themselves but others in the household instead of having the chance to be a kid. And boys are often abandoned by being left to their own devices to rot with no help to process their internalized world. We see this play out in the show’s depiction of Marcus’ struggle with depression and alcoholism as he subsequently falls behind in school. Which feels like a nod to all the recent studies published regarding men falling drastically behind women in education and wealth¹.

It’s this belief, that Marcus and Max exist as a commentary on how we fail girls and boys alike, that’s actually why (if we have to diagnose her - which we don’t - but let’s face it, it’s just plain fun to do as a thought exercise) I think Maxine has BPD, not ADHD. It can be both, for sure, but if I were to rule anything out, it wouldn’t be BPD. Besides the stats that women are more likely to be diagnosed with BPD than men at a ratio of 3:1²… I believe Max’s story aligns with some key traits of the disorder. And that her character exists to destigmatize it.

An article from NIH states that between 30-90% cases of BPD are strongly linked to childhood abuse and neglect³. The scene of 6 year old Max being told its her job to look after Marcus (who’s the same age as her), right before she pleads with her mom to watch the dance routine she worked so hard on as Ellen Baker persistently speaks over her, is enough for me to believe that Max’s childhood was filled with countless moments where her emotional needs were suppressed.

Max and Addy (left to right)

It seems like Max believes she has to have a larger-than-life-happy persona in order for people to like her. And it’s likely that her friends, ANG (Addy, Nora, & Ginny) are one of the few social spaces where she feels safe enough to open up and be vulnerable. I think this naturally lends to Max being more anxious at the thought of losing or angering her friends. That doesn’t mean she’s right to project those anxieties onto them… I’m just saying it makes sense. Though most people would consider Max to be from a happy and functional household… and she is to some degree… that doesn’t mean her emotional needs are being met.

This too further convinces me of her BPD struggle, which can be characterized by:⁴

Frantic Efforts to Avoid Real or Imagined Abandonment

(Think of the season where she freaked out about Ginny dating Marcus and her building jealousy regarding Ginny confiding in others in the new season)

Unstable and Intense Interpersonal Relationships

(Think of Max’s turbulent relationship with Sophie Sanchez)

Identity Disturbance; Unstable Self-Image or Sense of Self

(Max seems to struggle when she can’t affirm her identity via her life on stage or through her role in the lives of others - A major aspect of her mental decline in season 3 is due to her not being able to enact the “best friend” role to Ginny and trying to navigate what choices to make regarding Georgia based on this role.)

Impulsivity

(Feels obvious)

Affective Instability Due to Marked Reactivity of Mood

(See the note about her role in the lives of others impacting her sense of self and mood.)

… Just to name a few traits that we’ve seen in Max over the duration of the show.

Again, I’m not here to diagnose Max, but with all cutesy-washing of mental illness in women in pop culture, I think it’s important to point out Max’s story arc from intentionally unlikable to sympathetic human being. Sometimes being neurodivergent will make us emotionally unattractive, hard to communicate with, and overbearing. These are experiences worth acknowledging and managing to ensure we aren’t swallowing our loved one’s whole with our needs, but at the same time these are struggles worth patience and understanding. Max and her friends are soooo young - and I think viewers forget that - they were 15 in the 10th grade when this show started.

Max, Nora, Addy, and Ginny (Left to right)

It wouldn’t be realistic for them to be incredibly emotionally intelligent in their approach to each other’s “quirks”. Addy is managing emotional abandonment (alcoholic mother & absent father), avoidant attachment, low self esteem, romantic exploitation & discard, and an eating disorder all while making jokes about her own pain and exploring a queer identity… it makes sense to me that she doesn’t have the capacity to deal with Max’s chronic need for validation by way of being inserted into situations that don’t concern her. A person barely processing their own emotions in real time can’t manage processing a big emoter’s big feelings about their trauma on top of living through said trauma. I felt Max’s rejection from Addy (and later Ginny) second hand. Her feelings are so valid. But so are the ways that the other girls are navigating their own pain. Ginny’s mom is on trial for murder and CPS has taken her from her home and separated her from her brother while navigating self harm - she doesn’t owe anyone an invitation to witness her pain. Max’s chronic need to self-soothe by way of taking care of other people (aka be a people-pleaser or empath) doesn’t usurp whatever Ginny (the person experiencing the trauma) needs.

All of that to say… it’s complicated. That’s part of what makes the writing on this show so good. Although everyone thought it was a nod to the casting, this is what I meant when I said this show reminds me of Degrassi: Next Gen. Too many shows focus on writing clear villains and heroes, but Degrassi had a twisted way of making you walk in the shoes of both the school loser and the bitchy insecure cheerleader who bullied them. Ginny & Georgia captures this dynamic really well; especially with its titular character, Georgia.

As a woman we understand her, but as her daughter… it would be valid if we never forgave her… let me know if I should explore why in tomorrow’s edition.. and remember to subscribe.

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Author’s note: Thanks for reading! Today marks day 14 of a 30 day challenge to write and publish daily. I’m fighting perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and ADHD freeze one post at a time.

That said, I know everyone may not want a daily Kady essay in their inbox.

I humbly ask that you don’t unsub during this time but to maybe move me to a less disruptive filter if daily contact isn’t your vibe? 😅

But also it would mean a lot to me

1. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/13/upshot/boys-falling-behind-data.html

2. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/causes-of-bpd-in-females#causes-in-females

3. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8495240/

4. https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/bpd-symptoms-vs-adhd-differential-diagnosis/?srsltid=AfmBOooZ6EdlCADETIYh5wqQ68uOrfuklmMp96WXYMD-ANA0G3bcJT_K